![\"couple\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.realestate.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/11155401\/lydia-body.jpg?resize=2000%2C1500&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\nBuying a home with your partner can cause friction. Picture: Kate Griffin<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Buying a property can be a highly stressful proposition. For most of us, it\u2019s the most expensive thing we\u2019ll ever buy and has huge financial consequences. <\/strong><\/p>\n Add to that the pressure of doing it with another person and you\u2019ve got a recipe for emotional upheaval.<\/p>\n A recent survey by US\u00a0mortgage<\/a> broker LendingHome found that\u00a060% of couples aged 25 to 45 disagreed\u00a0with their significant other when buying a house<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n But what specifically do couples fight about?<\/p>\n Independent buyers advocate Cate Bakos says the five most common arguments she encounters are:<\/p>\n \u201cA risk-averse person may feel anxious about their partner\u2019s willingness to target a higher priced property brief,\u201d Bakos says.<\/p>\n \u201cAgreeing upfront on budget is integral.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cProximity to friends\/family, sometimes an unwillingness to be \u2018too close\u2019 to family can get in the way. Other times, the issue of choosing which person\u2019s family to be closer to, if they aren\u2019t on the same side of town, can be the issue.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome people are prepared to consider the property is their \u2018now\u2019 house with a view to upgrade down the track, but for others, the mere idea of compromising on their \u2018forever house\u2019 dreams can create upset,\u201d Bakos says.<\/p>\n \u201cOne dedicating more time to the search than the other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cResentment can strike when one partner is doing all of the work and not feeling supported in their shortlisting and decision making.<\/p>\n \u201cWhether it be the style, the size of the yard, the inclusion of a shed\/garage, interior design<\/a> or layout, sometimes couples have a mismatch on the criteria which is most important to them and occasionally one\u2019s preferences will rule out the other,\u201d Bakos says.<\/p>\n \u201cFor example, a\u00a0small Victorian terrace<\/a> is on one person\u2019s list when the other wants a yard and garage.\u201d<\/p>\n Bakos says couples don\u2019t always fight about obvious or critical issues.<\/p>\n Lack of compromise over what you want in a house can cause arguments. Picture: Getty<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cSometimes the\u00a0elements which can cause friction are the ones which are hardest to explain to each other. For\u00a0example,\u00a0\u2018gut feel\u2019,\u00a0\u2018vibe\u2019 of a house, etc,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cBeing able to articulate specifically what appeals and doesn\u2019t\u00a0appeal can de-mystify\u00a0the jargon that is often used when one person likes a property and the other can\u2019t explain why they don\u2019t. Continual inspections and shortlisted attempts can be followed with skepticism or negativity when the other partner keeps saying no.\u201d<\/p>\n Psychologist and director of Moving Mindsets Sarah Godfrey says couples can avoid an all-out house hunting war by getting practical.<\/p>\n \u201cDivide a page in two. One column is a wish list and the second is a compromise list,\u201d Godfrey says.<\/p>\n \u201cStart with the top three suburbs you both agree on in your wish list and then decide on which ones you will compromise on, for example, living in the same suburb as my parents may be the wish but a better house in the suburb of his parents may be the compromise.<\/p>\n \u201cList the things you want \u2013 number of rooms, large garden, double garage \u2013 \u00a0and then discuss the compromise.<\/p>\n \u201cDecide together if this is our dream family home or a five-year investment home so we can buy the dream home.\u201d<\/p>\n Even the budget can be discussed in this way, Godfrey says.<\/p>\n \u201cFor example, I am happy to spend $10,000 more to get the\u00a0right house knowing we have no expensive holidays for two or more years. If you have already talked and committed to compromise then becoming rigid and inflexible is less likely, although not always, to occur.\u201d<\/p>\n Setting ground rules before you start means you have boundaries to keep each other in check, she says.<\/p>\n \u201cBuying a house is investing in childhood dreams of happiness, safety, and adulthood. It is a highly emotional and complex decision. We tend to get into difficulty when we let emotions determine rational thinking over what we can and cannot have in our first home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n <\/p><\/div>\n Realestate au <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"1. Budget<\/h2>\n
2. Proximity<\/h2>\n
3. Forever house v stepping stone house<\/h2>\n
4. Who\u2019s doing the work?<\/h2>\n
5. No compromise<\/h2>\n
![\"couple\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.realestate.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/11155450\/floor-couple-body.jpg?resize=2000%2C1500&ssl=1\")
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